22 May 2003 - 10:35 p.m. So, the featured performer at the Providence Poetry Slam, after he had finished his set and was moving his stuff, checked me with his shoulder as he was walking past me--twice. Once is an accident. Twice is intentional. All I did was applaud for him, so I don't know what I did that pissed him off. This is a recurring theme in my life: the people that I look up to the most are also the people that disappoint me the most. I am tired of being reminded that everyone is a COMPLETE disappointment. Is it really so difficult for someone with a speck of talent in a small circle to avoid being a primadonna asshole? I am bored with this crap. BORED. I mean, why? What's the point? Does self confidence only derive from cutting others down? Are we so insecure and scared that we can only elevate ourselves by snickering at others? What happened to the idea that art elevates the artist? Is that just a myth? Am I deluding myself in my belief that self-improvement is possible? Are we just thieves? Are we just cannibals, preying on the self-confidence of others to boost our selves artificially? Is that what I've been doing wrong? (0) Comments?

22 May 2003 - 11:38 a.m. My friend Wayne sent me this email: We have a vendor that supplies us with a part that comes in a box we provide. We order the boxes from the box company, they are sent directly to the other company, and we get the bill. We got a bill last week for 500 boxes. I called the vendor that we have the boxes shipped to last week. I wanted to find out if we actually got 500 boxes before we pay the box company. She says, "We have a skid of boxes that just came in, but I don't know how many are on it." Now I'm rolling my eyes. I'm thinking, "Is that where you stopped? What do you normally do when you don't know how many you have of something, and you want to find out?" I guess they threw their hands in the air and said, "I can't figure out any way to determine how many boxes are on this skid." Now, a skid of boxes will usually be packed in bundles of 20 or 25 boxes depending on the box size. I actually had to tell her that if she just counted one bundle, and multiplied by the number of bundles on the skid, she could figure out how many boxes are there. I think the next time they need boxes I'll have them sent here and I'll drive them up there in my car. It'll be a lot easier. (0) Comments?