15 April 2003 - 11:46 a.m. 1. Recent fad I admit to trying: Diaper-diving. You wear a large novelty diaper, or failing that a pair of Depends undergarments and dive into the crowd at a folk concert. OK, so it's not a fad yet, but someone has to start them right? 2. Favorite Actor and Actress: Jason Tromble. He played corpse #2 on Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode E-12. He was great. He looked so un-lifelike. 3. Favorite Movie: Crud III - The Cruddening 4. Greatest Fear: Moles. Not like one or two moles, but hundreds and thousands of them spreading out across the face of the earth like some curious, burrowing plague going, "eep eep eep eep eep eep." 5. Favorite TV Show: Realty. It's a new reality show about realtors. Really. 6. Favorite Singer/Band: Spiro Agnew's Mumblestra 7. If I could only keep one household appliance, it would be: My carpet demagnetizer. 8. Something people would be surprised to know about me: I was once ruler and prophet of a tiny island nation called Wanklepoopydoo. 9. Currently Reading: Your palm--telepathically. I see you enjoy Spam and kinky novelty cakes. You perv. 10. Favorite Book: My plans for brainwashing the youth of America--and autobiography by Snuffalupagus. 11. Favorite and Least Favorite Food: On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays: hard-booiled eggs. On Tuesdays, Thurssdays and Saturdays: hard-booiled eggs. Sundays are determined by a random hard-boiled egg appeal generator. 12. Favorite Comfort Food: Human ears dried like beef jerky. 13. Favorite Song: The wistful melody of a jackhammer at 5:30 a.m. 14. Favorite Item of Clothing: My cod-piece from the Marth Stewart Collection. 15. Greatest Achievement: Thus far, reaching question #15. 16. I Can Imitate: Jerry Lewis orally pleasuring Carol Channing. 17. Dream Career: Killing you all, one at a time. 18. What I Treasure Most: The cold dank corners of my soul. 19. First thing I do when I wake up in the morning: Put on my Richard Nixon mask and chase the cats into the basement -- naked. 20. Last thing I do before I go to bed: Scream gibberish at the wall. 21. Most Embarrassing Moment: That time I asked K. D. Lang out on a date. Who knew? 22. Best Quality: My ability to read the most disgusting sexual thoughts of my friends. 23. Worst Quality: My ability to read the most disgusting sexual thoughts of my friends. 24. Biggest Regret: Buying all that Macrosift� stock. 25. Something that makes me see red: Rose-colored glasses. Man I HATE those things! 26. If I could live anywhere, it would be: In your house for a week while you're away on vacation, doing nasty, nasty things. 27. Celebrity I'm often mistaken for: Danny Devito covered in moss. 28. What I dislike most about my appearance: What hump? 29. Cause I most believe in: WRLKLITPHACATL -- Whiny, Rich, Liberal Kids Living In Their Parents Houses And Complaining About Their Lives 30. If I had one wish: All Iwant is a solid-gold, life-sized statue of Rosey Odonnell and a 13" penis. Is that so much to ask? (0) Comments?