13 December 2002 - 5:02 p.m. I just replaced all the comments about other diaries in my profile with random insults. I'm so pleased with myself. (0) Comments?

13 December 2002 - 10:31 a.m. The top ten least popular automobile options: - by me and Wayne 10. Chrome-plated seats 9. Side-impact grenades 8. Fool injection 7. Klansman white Klear Koat 6. Hair conditioning 5. Leather windshield 4. Anti-lock locks 3. Internal combustion cabin 2. Power-rusting 1. Intermittent steering (0) Comments?

13 December 2002 - 9:49 a.m. Worst slogan ever. I just saw a poster for the United Way. On it is a photograph of a guy in one of those racing wheel-chairs, like the ones you see in the Boston marathon. Above it is the slogan, (and I'm not making this up) "Get in the Way!" (0) Comments?

12 December 2002 - 5:26 p.m. Sometimes the appropriate question is, "what would Jesus do?" Sometimes it's, "what would Jean-Luc Picard do?" (0) Comments?

12 December 2002 - 4:57 p.m. Whatever it is that I want just isn't in the vending machine. (0) Comments?

12 December 2002 - 2:00 p.m. Chirp chirp, little frog. Sing your litle song. Chirp chirp little frog. And hump like bunnies all night long. (0) Comments?

11 December 2002 - 3:40 p.m. You ain't nothing but a bunch of SISSY PUNKS! (0) Comments?